I checked my most recent post to see how long it’s been since I last published something. It was published in 2021.
In retrospect, the time since then didn’t feel that long. It’s weird. Yet, when I read my content from three years, it’s evident that it was from three years.
My writing style changed little, but my approach to writing and my thinking changed drastically. I’ve since accumulated a lot of encounters and experiences that made me wonder, “how good would this be if I wrote about it?”
One instance was when I witnessed a college student casually walking through a storm on my college campus. He was wearing white shoes, a white shirt, and light blue shorts. Everyone else was dressed for the weather— rain jackets, boots, coats, umbrellas, etc. But he was the only person that was walking through the rain without a care in the world. What could I learn from this?
To consume and to produce
The though of writing never left me. But the act of writing did. And for that, I apologize. I’ve read various books, articles, and writings of my favorite people. So, at the very least, I’ve done half of the work.
But the other half was missing, and it needed to be completed.
To be a writer, you must be a reader. It’s like becoming a chef or a musician who never tastes or listens to others. How could you possibly become a great musician if you don’t listen to other people’s work? You’d have to be a genius to achieve that— and I’m most certainly not.
At some point, you start to desire pieces of work that you can’t find or don’t exist. You start thinking of things that haven’t been realized by others. After consuming content for so long, the idea of producing your own doesn’t sound so bad. You start cooking the food you want to eat. You begin creating the songs you want to listen to. You build the computer you want to use. And you write the books you want to read.
Documenting my experiences
The return to this project is necessary for what I want to do. In the last three years, I’ve traveled internationally for the first time; lived abroad for three months as part of a school program; joined a like-minded community and helped it grow tremendously; befriended the dean of my college; met the CEO of Walmart; asked interesting questions to one of the richest women in the world; met my grandfather for the first time; visited my parent’s home country; and so much more.
I’ve done my best in keeping such experiences to myself, but it would be a disservice if I didn’t share what I learned through it all with others. Documenting it would also serve as a reminder to myself when I almost forget— this became apparent when I was reading my old work on here.
What now?
As cliché as it sounds, I’m entering a new phase in my life. I recently graduated from college and I’m unemployed. It’s honestly not a great start by any means.
While my peers are already working, I’m at my parents’ home taking care of my seven-year-old sibling while finding work on the internet. I enjoy working remotely, so that’s what I’m searching.
Yet, it’s odd.
At the beginning, I felt anxious and scared. I felt I was behind in life. But I’ve come to a realization: things can only get better.
In the eyes of society, I’m already a failure for not acquiring a job. It’s not that I don’t like work. I love working. But the motivation to find work has been low. And I’m realizing it’s because I knew that I wasn’t going to like it.
I’ll apply for remote jobs and do freelance work, but I’ll prioritize my own work. Because that’s what speaks to me. It might not be the smartest think and I know I should be prioritizing my career, but my gut is saying otherwise.
I’m already at what feels like my lowest point, so it can only get better. Even better, I have nothing to lose. I’ve already screwed up the game of life and have the flexibility to take a different route with little to no repercussions.
Fortunately, I know what I want to do. I know what I want to work on and which communities I want to serve. In that regard, I can confidently say I’m not behind—I might even be ahead.
Now, I must choose carefully and act quickly. It’s almost been a month since I graduated with nothing to show for. As part of the journey, I’ll return to to writing daily.
How fortunate I am, and how fortunate I can become.
Here’s my inspiration for the day: https://seths.blog/2024/05/the-hubris-of-creativity/