It appears that decisions will be made in the coming days.
At first, I was terrified of the inevitability. But now, I feel calm. I think history is readying me for the continuation of my story. I cannot believe it has already been over a year since my life took a sharp turn.
I thought my life was over when I failed to get the job I was longing for before graduation, and that I could never recover from such a blow. Indeed, it was a blow, but only a blow to my ego, for what came after was a sense of liberation I had not yet experienced.
As I no longer felt constrained by the expectations set upon me, I chose to follow my curiosities, ultimately strengthening my love for stories and discovering my pursuit of history and writing.
Were it not for the free time I had through unemployment and living with my parents after graduation, I wouldn’t have had time to carefully think about my situation and what I wanted out of life. Before graduation, I knew what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be; my struggle, though, was in how to get there.
The months I spent in solitude allowed me to consider paths I could take. And if it weren’t for the lives of great men that I studied, I wouldn’t have a clue where to begin.
Because it was from their very lives that I understood I wasn’t far off from a similar path. They, too, had periods of isolation, in which they wrestled with the same troubles I was enduring. In that respect, we weren’t that different—and having learned that made me feel like kindred spirits.
That is what learning history taught me: that I was capable of achieving as much as the men who are placed in the highest ranks of annals. I can walk with confidence knowing that my story is unfolding as it should.
Two things will happen in the next week: a second-round interview for a position I have been wanting, as it would align with my goals and allow me to impart what I know with others, and the release of my second story for my personal project. All I can do is prepare for these two things and let fate guide me where I’m needed.
Jose, please prepare to return to this world and act on your beliefs. The past couple of months have built up what you believe in and hardened the conviction you’ve been seeking. Be grateful you were given this time, considering that many, unfortunately, couldn’t be. It is true that there is much you still need to learn, but there will never be a moment when you feel “ready.” You must always work with the anticipation that you do not have enough time, for your ambitions have much weight to carry before getting to slow down.
Jose, this is your history. Write plentiful and, like your predecessors, share what was given to you. This is the least you can do in a life as eventful as yours will be.
Stand tall. You will soon enter the arena. Ensure you give the performance of a lifetime.