I’m sad that things turned out this way.
But I’m also happy that things are the way they are now.
It’s normal to feel both at the same time. In fact, it’s better to feel both.
This is ambivalence: the state of having ideas or feelings that contradict one another.
For example, I’m sad that I spent ten months after graduating from college unemployed, losing all hope and opportunities, and reading manga every day.
Yet, I’m also happy that I get to start from scratch and work that much harder to soar even higher— it makes for a far more compelling story.
That my fascination with reinvention came only after I had undergone reinvention myself was only possible because I had lost all hope.
I know what I must do to get to where I must be, and I’m slowly taking the steps to get there.
In other words, I fell in love with my fate, with all its sham and genuineness.
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)Walt Whitman