For a long time, I felt I wasn’t the right person to start this project.
For months, I’ve thought of this project, but only recently have I prioritized it and publicly shared it, and it’s a project that I think about every hour of my day.
I thought: surely there are people out there who are more qualified to do the work I’m doing. People who are better at giving interviews, people who are better Spanish speakers, people who are better writers or storytellers, people who are better connected to the community, people who look more attractive, appear more confident, or are just more anything of everything.
I’ve already done the interviews and have connected with incredible people. And I’m getting a lot of support for even starting this project and for the vision I have.
But I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel any fear about being “exposed” for not doing as good of a job as people think.
I receive praise from the community, but I don’t feel like I deserve it just yet.
Imposter syndrome makes me feel that way. I think the various highs and lows throughout my days hurt my brain every time I overthink things.
Fortunately, I know how to use my overthinking as a benefit and not as a detriment to my work.
And that’s writing.
Writing about my thoughts, feelings, and anything that troubles me.
Even now, I feel tired writing this, yet I can feel my soul recovering and my mind clearing.
Writing is not just my preferred medium to tell stories, but also my therapeutic method to calm my nerves.
I go on walks to think things through. I talk to people about my concerns with the project and my hopes for the community.
I have a bigger support system for the work I’m doing.
And I’m realizing that now.
Jose, there is still so much you can do.
And you’re right about not being the best person for this project.
There will always be someone better than you out there in the world, perhaps even in Northwest Arkansas.
Yet, no one else can take away your hunger. No one cares as much, thinks as much, or believes as much as you do about a storytelling project in Northwest Arkansas.
Because if not you, then who will?
I understand what my friend, whom I haven’t seen in 3 years, finally meant when she said that to me yesterday.
Don’t push away your impostor syndrome. Embrace it.
Learn from it and let it guide you to the next steps.
Not feeling like your interviews are going well? Study interviewing techniques.
Not having enough time to conduct all the interviews? Ask others who believe in your project to help you schedule times, or ask your employers to give you time off to conduct more interviews.
Not feeling as connected to the community? Keep reaching out to those who support your cause.
Step by step, you’ll notice the universe opening a path for your project.
And fortunately, I’m already seeing the synchronicity happening.
If I’m the right person yet, then I’ll mold myself into becoming the right person.
Have faith in yourself and in the project.
You’re doing the right thing.